Lifestyle

Coffee Time

I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men.

With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence. Large bet on myself in round one. Shut up and take my money!

Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you! Pansy. I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!

No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires! Your best is an idiot! Why would I want to know that? Why would a robot need to drink? For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist!

I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

  1. Tell them I hate them.
  2. You don’t know how to do any of those.
  3. For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist!

Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love! Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Bender, we’re trying our best. No! The cat shelter’s on to me.

Oh yeah, good luck with that. You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! Meh. With gusto.

  • You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go.
  • It’s a T. It goes “tuh”.
  • Bender, we’re trying our best.

We don’t have a brig. You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! Noooooo! You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites? Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk!

Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. You lived before you met me?! Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.

Professor, make a woman out of me. I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Why would I want to know that? Look, last night was a mistake. You lived before you met me?!

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? Yeah, and if you were the pope they’d be all, “Straighten your pope hat.” And “Put on your good vestments.” I’ll get my kit! Oh yeah, good luck with that.

What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso! Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.

I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! What are their names? File not found. No, I’m Santa Claus!

And until then, I can never die? There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like! I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money.

I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo!

That’s not soon enough! Bender?! You stole the atom. I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. We’re also Santa Claus!

Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. There, now he’s trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! Hey, what kinda party is this? There’s no booze and only one hooker.

Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd. I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool. Oh dear! She’s stuck in an infinite loop, and he’s an idiot! Well, that’s love for you.

Lifestyle

My Cat

I’m afraid I just blue myself. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life.

Guy’s a pro. Whoa, this guy’s straight? Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. I’m afraid I just blue myself.

Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Guy’s a pro. Well, what do you expect, mother? I care deeply for nature.

I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. We just call it a sausage.

I’ve opened a door here that I regret. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ No… but I’d like to be asked! Army had half a day. Whoa, this guy’s straight?

  1. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.
  2. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?
  3. No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you.

That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ No… but I’d like to be asked! That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Well, what do you expect, mother?

  • I hear the jury’s still out on science.
  • That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’
  • Whoa, this guy’s straight?

It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Steve Holt! I’ve opened a door here that I regret. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.

There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

We just call it a sausage. That’s why you always leave a note! Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. I’m a monster.

I care deeply for nature. No… but I’d like to be asked! I’m a monster. I’m a monster.

I’m afraid I just blue myself. I’m a monster. Across from where? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Not tricks, Michael, illusions.

It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’m afraid I just blue myself. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

I’m afraid I just blue myself. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Steve Holt! As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Army had half a day. I hear the jury’s still out on science. No… but I’d like to be asked!

Recipes

Lunch menu

As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. No… but I’d like to be asked! No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Really? Did nothing cancel? Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Marry me.

It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Whoa, this guy’s straight? Across from where? That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves. ‘ Guy’s a pro. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’ve opened a door here that I regret.

I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. I’ve opened a door here that I regret.

  1. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?
  2. I hear the jury’s still out on science.
  3. I’m a monster.

What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Army had half a day. I care deeply for nature. I hear the jury’s still out on science. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?

Michael! It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Whoa, this guy’s straight? Guy’s a pro. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.

  • I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.
  • But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?
  • As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

We just call it a sausage. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Marry me. I care deeply for nature. That’s why you always leave a note!

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Across from where? That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!

Michael! I care deeply for nature. Really? Did nothing cancel? Well, what do you expect, mother? First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians.

Across from where? No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. Across from where? I’m a monster. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’

As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.

He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. That’s why you always leave a note! I’m half machine. I’m a monster. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Guy’s a pro. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Army had half a day.

Well, what do you expect, mother? There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” I’ve opened a door here that I regret. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Whoa, this guy’s straight?

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Really? Did nothing cancel? No… but I’d like to be asked! I’ve opened a door here that I regret. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?

I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Army had half a day. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. I’m afraid I just blue myself.

Recipes

Video Post

Michael! That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I’m half machine. I’m a monster. Not tricks, Michael, illusions.

We just call it a sausage. Guy’s a pro. I care deeply for nature. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

Army had half a day. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

  1. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!
  2. It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you.
  3. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life.

That’s why you always leave a note! I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Marry me. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Not tricks, Michael, illusions.

I’m afraid I just blue myself. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. I care deeply for nature.

  • I’m half machine. I’m a monster.
  • I’m a monster.
  • Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!

Steve Holt! Really? Did nothing cancel? Across from where? Army had half a day.

Army had half a day. Michael! There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Whoa, this guy’s straight? What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

I’m half machine. I’m a monster. I’m afraid I just blue myself. I’m half machine. I’m a monster. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! We just call it a sausage. I’m afraid I just blue myself. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.

What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Steve Holt! I’m half machine. I’m a monster. I’m a monster.

As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I’m a monster. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Guy’s a pro. Across from where? Well, what do you expect, mother?

It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Michael! Really? Did nothing cancel? Guy’s a pro. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.

Steve Holt! I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. I’m afraid I just blue myself. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. I’m afraid I just blue myself.

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. I’m half machine. I’m a monster. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Not tricks, Michael, illusions.

Recipes

Breakfast Playlist

That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’

It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

Guy’s a pro. Well, what do you expect, mother? Across from where? Steve Holt! Well, what do you expect, mother?

Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right.

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.

  1. Marry me.
  2. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.
  3. I’m afraid I just blue myself.

Whoa, this guy’s straight?

Steve Holt! Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! I’m half machine. I’m a monster. That’s why you always leave a note!

  • I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.
  • He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.
  • Really? Did nothing cancel?

Steve Holt! As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Marry me. Whoa, this guy’s straight? There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

Across from where? There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Michael! Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.

We just call it a sausage. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I hear the jury’s still out on science. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. That’s why you always leave a note!

There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Guy’s a pro. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Really? Did nothing cancel?

No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life.

Army had half a day. I’m afraid I just blue myself. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you.

Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Really? Did nothing cancel? We just call it a sausage. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Across from where?

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. I hear the jury’s still out on science. Steve Holt! I’m afraid I just blue myself. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?

Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Marry me. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Really? Did nothing cancel? It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you.

He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Michael! I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

I’m a monster. Michael! Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you.

Lifestyle

My lovely dog

We just call it a sausage.

It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you.

Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Guy’s a pro.

Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!

Across from where? Steve Holt! Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! I’m a monster. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

  1. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.
  2. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.
  3. I hear the jury’s still out on science.

Steve Holt!

Really? Did nothing cancel? It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Army had half a day. I’m a monster. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

  • I’m half machine. I’m a monster.
  • Army had half a day.
  • Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!

Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Army had half a day. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Army had half a day. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. I’m afraid I just blue myself. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

We just call it a sausage. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I care deeply for nature. I’m half machine. I’m a monster.

He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. I’m a monster. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. I care deeply for nature. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” Well, what do you expect, mother? No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

Marry me. I care deeply for nature. I care deeply for nature. Army had half a day. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.

Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. I hear the jury’s still out on science. Really? Did nothing cancel? As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Not tricks, Michael, illusions.

I hear the jury’s still out on science. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. Really? Did nothing cancel? I hear the jury’s still out on science. I hear the jury’s still out on science. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” Michael! First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Whoa, this guy’s straight?

Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. Marry me. Across from where? It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.